Monday, 7 March 2011


I haven't done an update on here in ages what with being really lazy and watching physics lectures in my room with the lights off (its been fun, honest) but i thought i might as well post some posters i've done recently up on here in the hope that i get spotted by some buzz bands and paid enough money off them to buy some proper shoes for work.

This is a poster i did for the 'settle down cinema guild'. I don't know if its still going but i hope it is. I got paid $6000 for this poster. It took me ten minutes. Thats graphic design.

This is a poster i did for a band night thing at the Bridge Hotel in Newcastle. Its got 'no tories' on it because tories are cunts. I'm allowed to say that because i work in an inner city school in Sunderland. I got paid $4500 for this poster. It took me 6 minutes, while i was snorting coke off a copy of 'Iphone magazine' in my Audi A4 on the way to Brighton to change a cover of an Adrian Mole re-issue from greyscale to CMYK. Thats graphic design.

This is a poster I did for a relevant London buzz band called '2:54'. If you look carefully both this gig and the above one are on the same night, if you have an identical twin why not send your brother/sister to one and go to the other, then just 'vibe' off each other all night a bit like the lad off captain planet who had the special 'heart' ability. Seriously though you should saw yourself in half and go to both as they will both be class. I got paid $6700 for this. it ironically took me 2.54 minutes. I was getting lathered up in the bath by Jet from Gladiators fit neice whilst i did it. I met her at a Dazed and Confused issue launch i got invited to because i once copied and pasted a still of a NES game onto illustrator and used it on a flyer. Thats graphic design.

In other news the reason that dopy exotic looking girl off T4 constantly looks like shes drifting away is because apparently co-presenter Nick Grimshaw keeps her heavily sedated by pouring his own concoction of barbituates and opiates into her screen glass of port when shes not looking. He keeps the potent mixture of drugs concealed underneath the emerald on the ring on his little finger. What a twat.

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